That Boy, So Disgusting
by slugish
Summary: "Dark. It was too dark. I didn't like it, Claude. You would've known that if you were there. But you weren't mine then." A one-shot on why Alois seems to pursue after Ciel.


Dark. It was too dark. I didn't like it, Claude. You would've known that if you were there.

But you weren't mine then. I was left in the dark. Darkness, too dark for my eyes. They had made it like this, didn't they? Those people, with their rotting eyes that reeked of- ahahaha, can you believe it, Claude? I don't even have a word for how badly they smelled! But it wasn't as if they didn't bathe themselves.

It wasn't like that at all.

It was as if they had drowned themselves in the... in the informalities of life. They smelled of greed, Claude. They smelled of greed and lust and desire and even envy. I bet I smelled like that when you found me, didn't I? I must have been so easy to find.

They worked me, like I said. I was a slave to them. You must know how, right? You were there; you saw it. Each of those people had taken their turn desiring after me, one by one. There were others that they did the same to. Remember? There were a few girls that said they were picked up from the gutter where everything empties their bowels. One even refused to open her eyes and mouth, except to eat.

I wasn't the only boy. You know that, right? There was another boy stuck there, just as I was. He seemed younger, more innocent. He was also kidnapped after me.

Did I tell you, Claude? I can't remember what my parents were like before I was taken. Not that it matters. I'm sure my mother was like Hannah and all the girls back at that place, who I think had eventually grown to enjoy what they did. The girl always put next to me had a tendency to reach out towards any man she could, pleading at them with her weak, crackly voice. She was there longer than I was, I think.

She liked talking to me, too. She asked me stupid questions, that whore. "Do you know what it's like to want something with your entire being?" She'd go on. I thought she was better than that. She was no better than the people out there, judging and watching us, seeing if we were pretty enough for them.

Claude, you know who I'm talking about, don't you? She was a stupid girl, with darker blonde hair than I have and a weird color of eyes, that color Hannah has. I had thought she was nice then, but I know better now. She'd always somehow have a little bit of money on her, and she'd offer a coin to one of those people, in return for more food than the rest of us got. She'd share the extra food she got with whoever was new there or whoever was on her good terms, or sometimes both. Sometimes she'd shove all her food in our direction, preferring instead to reach out again towards another passing man.

She reminds of Hannah, now that I think of it. That stupid little slut.

That's when the other boy showed up. The girl coddled right up to him. He was an interesting one, though, and pushed her immediately away. She offered him extra food, only for it to be slapped back in her face. He refused to tell us of his name- refused to tell us anything at all, really-, and sat in that pathetic corner of his. Some of us laughed at him, that stupid boy! Why suffer alone, we'd taunt. Why not come out and play with the big nice men that liked to gawk at him, we'd taunt.

One day he burst out. He told us to shut up, and that we knew nothing of who he was. He yelled and yelled and yelled. He frightened some of the others.

We laughed. No, that's not correct. I laughed, alone.

He was an interesting boy. You know who he was, right? The young Ciel boy.

I began ignoring the stupid boy, too, though, only joining in and talking with him- even calling him my little brother (can you imagine that, Claude?) when he pointed something out that the rest of us had completely missed. He continued being curled up in his stupid corner, and none of were interested in making him come out. Why would we be? We had things to do, questions to ask, things to avoid and to figure out for ourselves.

I remember calling out to that girl once, asking her why she always volunteered so readily to be with those strangers. She didn't reply.

He did, though, saying that she thought she could buy her way out of imprisonment with what little money she could scrape up. He yelled at her for thinking in such a primitive manner.

I laughed, alone, again.

She yelled back at both of us. I hadn't done anything, Claude! She yelled, almost as loud as my growing laughter, and then she clawed wildly at the air towards those passing people. She pleaded, in her most innocent voice, to them. But she wasn't selling herself anymore. She was selling us.

I was taken, first. He was a fat man, a stupid fat man. The slut waved me off with a fake smile and bid me adieu, saying that I should try feeling things with my whole body. What horrible advice.

The man brought me to a bedroom. I resisted. I needed to go get that girl, go attack her and make her eat her words. If she wanted to be a whore, that was her problem, but how dare she put her friends, as she had called us at some point or another, for sale?

I pulled against the man. I pulled harder and harder, but that disgusting shit seemed to be stronger. He hit me with his free hand and told me to stop. Said I should be thankful for my slut of a friend, who got me into this problem.

I still threw as much of a fight as I could, Claude. Were you there for that part?

I remember, after being forced to the bed and forced to be as much of a thoroughbred slut as all the girls were… I remember what she said. 'To feel things with your entire self.' Hahaha, oh no, Claude, it's still horrible advice- and I'm glad you'll never give me such shitty advice- but I tried.

I wanted to get out of there, to get back to that dumb bitch and her friends, and kick her face in. The man had already put out the lights, I remember that; there was so much darkness, I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think, and everything acted on its own way.

But you must know the man was dead, right? Haha, I killed him, Claude! iI/i, the great heir of the Trancy line, killed him!

I wasn't done with her shitty advice, though. I wanted the others gone, too. I wanted so hard, I could almost smell it coming off of me. I reeked, just like the others.

I desired it so much. I crawled out of bed, forcing myself to move. My limbs were heavy, going against my mind. I had killed someone. My fingers fidgeted and my smile twitched.

That's when I summoned you. I desired so much, I desired so many more deaths that I must have smelled atrocious. You must like that smell, Claude, for you accepted it. You took in that disgusting scent and cleaned me of it.

Then you had asked for a command. Honestly, I hadn't believed you were real.

I giggled and laughed then, free from reality and that stupid captor, and ran out of the room. I remember the smile dropped off my face as I ran my way back to the… that… the place the stupid girl was! She was already idead/i, though, can you believe it?

Of course you can. You were right there, behind me. I didn't ask how you got there, though. I knew you were different than all the sluts and disgusting scented men of this place. You were better.

I screamed! How dare she die? I was supposed to kill her; I was supposed to make her take back every word she had ever said! I ordered you to bring her to me. You did, easily.

You remember what happened next, right? I love this part of the story, where I had hit her and slapped her and pulled her hair right out of her scalp. I demanded that you drop her, and then crushed her head into the ground. There was still blood seeping from her neck, where someone had cut it just deep enough to kill her, and I put that under my foot and crushed it, too.

I demanded what happened to her, who killed her. The others were exactly the same way, too! All killed by a cut in the throat.

You had replied it seems like a demon's work. There was blood everywhere, but the children hadn't seemed like they saw any of it. There was some sort of alter placed in the room, too. I remember we were in a showcase type of place, but I hadn't thought much of it. Now it seemed like something so important, Claude, that each row of seats that were never, inever/i, taken by anyone was now dunked in blood. There were people everywhere, and the place reeked of iron.

It scared me, Claude. What had happened while I fell into the dark? Nobody smelled as bad as they had, certainly, but I couldn't understand.

Something was missing and I couldn't figure out what.

You suggested one of the children was missing. You were right, too. It was that stupid child, the one we all laughed at and laughed with and the only one that stood up for himself.

That stupid Ciel.

I kicked the stupid slut's corpse from in front of me. How dare he take this away from me? I finally had a way to perfect revenge and to make this stupid girl truly feel what fear and pain were. She went on so much about what it was like to want so much to feel something so fully.

She was in love, Claude, wasn't she? She had someone she wanted to return to. I get it. She was a slut to the inner core. How disgusting.

I kicked her again and again. I bent down and put my hands in her mouth, stretching her mouth open as wide as it would go and then some. I stretched it until I could no longer, and there was a sickening pop. I shrieked and fell back onto the floor, landing in a pile of someone's blood, and laughed.

I laughed, alone, but I was so full of it. This happiness was everywhere inside me and there was nothing more I wanted than to keep it there.

She was still staring at me with those big eyes of hers. Even though she was dead, those disgusting, filthy eyes continued looking at me. I couldn't have that, Claude! I shoved my fingers in each socket, and tried to rip them out of her skull. It didn't work. It didn't work! I screamed again and demanded that you help me. You did, easily.

I watched you as you wiggled my hand and pulled it gently out of her face. You even took out a handkerchief and cleaned up the blood dripping down my hands. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe iyou/i.

You were amazing, Claude. I had told you to make a mess of the slut. You asked how, and I watched as you followed my each and every instruction.

Fully remove her jaw. You did.

Cut her open. You did.

I reached my hand in and stretched out her organs, ripping the stupid tissue that holds her intestines together. I wrapped that around her neck and around her head, a disgustingly perfect decoration for a disgusting person like her. I took out her reproductive, organs, too. I squished them in my hand, trying to mush it into one small ball, and then I shoved it in one of her eye sockets.

You watched.

I rested one hand on the top half of her mouth and the other hand on the top of her shoulders. I began trying to push them apart. I failed, so horribly, but you helped me. You reached down, putting your hands over mine, and so gently pushed your two hands apart.

I vomited on myself, then, listening to that noise of her spine and intestines both ripping apart. Even after death she disgusts me.

It didn't stop me, though. I laughed at my own misfortune and picked up her head. I then smashed it into the ground and rubbed it there. I picked up her head again and again, slamming it into the ground. Eat shit, I screamed.

Eat shit! Eat shit, eat shit, eat shit!

I screamed and laughed and cried and vomited and I was iso happy/i, Claude.

I leaned back on the ground with a smile on my face, her head faintly rolling out of my hand.

You asked me if there's anything else I wanted.

An easy question, Claude.

I want to do the same to Ciel.


End file.
